Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts

Thursday, June 21, 2012

 Why divorce is not a good solution?
Marriage is sacred and a commitment and that is how I am going to start this article.  Marriage is a gift from God and therefore it should be accepted and handle it with care. It’s commitment because both of you bowed for better and for worst that  you two will always be together and will always help each other.   But many people still and want to divorce their better half, because of just one reason and that is happiness.  They said “If you no longer happy, set it free!”, or some would say “He is different now and there is no joy in us anymore…so we divorced.”  But there are many instances that the cause of divorce is not just happiness but also the lack of respect towards the sacredness of marriage, such as cheating.  

The choice to divorce or remain together to work things out is one of the most important decisions that the couple will ever make. It is vital for those considering divorce to expect what lies ahead in order to make informed decisions. Too frequently the fallout from divorce is far more devastating than many people apprehend when contemplating the move.
Many countries favored divorce as the best solution for unhappy and failed marriages and 80% find happiness on their next marriages, so they are thankful to the divorce bill that their country had given them, but there is no assurance for how long that happiness would last. Because of Divorce bill, husband and wife could find refuge on their being irresponsible in handling their marriage life. They have forgotten the sacredness of marriage and the commitment that they have promised to each other. And because of divorce it is easy to tear a family that still has a chance to grow and rebuild its foundation, and much worst the children will also find it difficult to adjust a life with separated parents.
There are many crimes that are committed by kids and most of them with separated parents. If you talk to these kids they would say their lives were so miserable and getting into drugs and illegal activities could set their depressions free. If you are the parent of these kids, what would you feel? Oh I see, you don’t care at all because you only think about your own happiness. Selfish parents are the origin of America’s increasing number of teen-criminals, gang related deaths and prostitutions.
For even God in the Bible has clearly said that “What God has put together let no man put asunder” hence by so doing, the two are bound and no one but God himself can separate the two.
There is no really failed marriage if only both spouses would always respect the commitment they have vowed and believed that whatever difficulty they have and would experience in their marriage life can be handled.  Both should help each other and united in taking care of their marital problems. What is separated by man that was unified by God is like a blasphemy. Life is created not perfect, therefore there will always obstacles in the path of marriage and that is why we must be strong and firm with our commitments.
Divorce, though it seems the easiest tactic to be out of a marriage that is either loveless or full of mistrust and disrespect. Divorce is not the solution but a problem in itself as not only the two parties but the children feel its effects as well.
Once a good marriage is dissolved, one of the parents is supposed to move out of the matrimonial home and if she takes the children with her they are forced to change schools, friends and all together change their way of living to suit the one parent system. Do you want this life?
The woman has the burden about the consequences that the divorce would have on her children and also think of how it affects her work performance and social life.
There is no marital problem that has no solution; problems are created my man, so man can solve it!  There is no reason to escape from it, because doing so can produce more problems in the future.
God is so loving and kind if He put you together He always loves to see together because that is what He wants.  The two of you should best see a counselor or a priest and try to talk about the problems.  Each of you should learn to FORGIVE AND FORGET, God wants us to be merciful just like Pope John Paul II he forgive his assassin and prayed for him, we can also forgive.  Give your husband or wife the love that he or she wants to feel from you again.  Put God always as the center of your marriage life and God will always show the way.  Try to talk to a successful couple that you know and they would always say “that in marriage life, it is not always Love that binds you together but God! 
Philippine is a Christian dominant country and the nation has the record of a country with strong family ties.  I don’t want that this wonderful family bonding that Filipinos have experienced will be shattered by those irresponsible people who are pushing the divorce bill.   These people may have the legal rights to push their concerns and selfish desires, but again divorce bill would surely affect the foundation of every good family in the country and this bill could make a hole in every Filipino marriage life.  

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Cheating Issues - What will you do if you caught him cheating? Well many spouses would rather kill their husbands..hehehe, its only a joke.  Let's get serious because it is really a very serious topic especially for a married couple experiencing issues in their relationship.  Solving the problem of your husband who is having an affair requires serious patience and understanding.  You must go to the root on how it all started and  when you have a  good discussion with him you must willing to listen.  What ever is your conclusion to his explanation you must always remember that you are married to him and you have children who love their father too.
Here is a cool explanation of a Married woman regarding that problem:

I just finished reading an excellent book that deals about marriage issues.  The book is entitled: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and was written by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I did not buy this book until I heard it from my book lover friends.   They advised me that the book has many good advises about marriage and etc.  Most of my friends are married and they had problems with their husbands, but they said the book helped them to overcome their problems and in fact it changed them to become perfect housewives. So I bought one copy and I started to read it. I saw myself within its pages, I had read the reason on why he changed and the fading of his desire towards me.  The lack of desire  was destructive to not only to  our marriage, but to the well being of our family.  I found out that the reason why he was losing his desire for me was my being too selfish to him.   But after reading the book, I understood ( finally) that  I must loosen some bolts of my behavior, my husband has every right for the betterment of the family and our relationship.  Dr. Laura explained that there are many things we do in life that we are not really in the mood for. for example: do you simply stop working because you are not in the mood to go to work? Does she stop washing or cooking simply because she is not in the mood to do the laundry this month? Or does she let the baby cry and cry because she is tired or not in the mood to care for her child? And I finally understood each person has the need to be loved and cared, and as a family, we must meet these needs for one another.

Here are the best tips from The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands that can help you:

Try to find out the root cause

When you finally could set your mind at rest, talk to him privately. Ask him why he is cheating. Is he bored with you? Has he lost interest to you? Could be that he is cheating because you don’t care about him? Regardless if you still want to be with him or not, knowing the root cause can help you prevent similar incident in the future. Understand this; there are 2 types of man; one that would always looking for some meaningless wild sex and the other that try to find a new romance. Some women might be able to accept the first, but rarely can accept the latter.

Give him a piece of your mind

After hearing all his side of the story from him, now it is your turn to talk. You have the right to yell at him. You are a tsunami of pain, sadness and anger. Take it all out on him. Cheating is by far worse than a polygamous.

Time to decide

When both sides of the stories are told, now it is time to decide. Regardless the root cause of the cheating, you must decide what works best for you. Can you accept & forgive the fact that he had cheated on you? Would you stay by him knowing that there is a chance that he might do that again? Don’t try to keep the broken relationship just because you had been with him for long time. This is personal and the right decision is not the same for all women. If you decide to end the relationship, end it gracefully.

Giving him another chance

If you decide to give him another chance, do not seek for revenge. Having an affair just to get even with him does not make sense. No one would benefit from that. When you have chosen to accept and forgive, payback is not justified. Everybody makes mistake. Since you have made the decision, you should not invoke this matter during future arguments. Evoking the incident is not going to make things better instead it might cause other issues in your relationship.

Seek Counseling

The next step is to seek for couples counseling. It is generally performed by a family therapist. Couples counseling is a confidential and non judgmental process that is aimed to help a couple to better understand and manage problems in the relationship.