Cheating Issues - What will you do if you caught him cheating? Well many spouses would rather kill their husbands..hehehe, its only a joke. Let's get serious because it is really a very serious topic especially for a married couple experiencing issues in their relationship. Solving the problem of your husband who is having an affair requires serious patience and understanding. You must go to the root on how it all started and when you have a good discussion with him you must willing to listen. What ever is your conclusion to his explanation you must always remember that you are married to him and you have children who love their father too.
Here is a cool explanation of a Married woman regarding that problem:
I just finished reading an excellent book that deals about marriage issues. The book is entitled: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and was written by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I did not buy this book until I heard it from my book lover friends. They advised me that the book has many good advises about marriage and etc. Most of my friends are married and they had problems with their husbands, but they said the book helped them to overcome their problems and in fact it changed them to become perfect housewives. So I bought one copy and I started to read it. I saw myself within its pages, I had read the reason on why he changed and the fading of his desire towards me. The lack of desire was destructive to not only to our marriage, but to the well being of our family. I found out that the reason why he was losing his desire for me was my being too selfish to him. But after reading the book, I understood ( finally) that I must loosen some bolts of my behavior, my husband has every right for the betterment of the family and our relationship. Dr. Laura explained that there are many things we do in life that we are not really in the mood for. for example: do you simply stop working because you are not in the mood to go to work? Does she stop washing or cooking simply because she is not in the mood to do the laundry this month? Or does she let the baby cry and cry because she is tired or not in the mood to care for her child? And I finally understood each person has the need to be loved and cared, and as a family, we must meet these needs for one another.
Here are the best tips from The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands that can help you:
Try to find out the root cause
When you finally could set your mind at rest, talk to him privately. Ask him why he is cheating. Is he bored with you? Has he lost interest to you? Could be that he is cheating because you don’t care about him? Regardless if you still want to be with him or not, knowing the root cause can help you prevent similar incident in the future. Understand this; there are 2 types of man; one that would always looking for some meaningless wild sex and the other that try to find a new romance. Some women might be able to accept the first, but rarely can accept the latter.
Give him a piece of your mind
After hearing all his side of the story from him, now it is your turn to talk. You have the right to yell at him. You are a tsunami of pain, sadness and anger. Take it all out on him. Cheating is by far worse than a polygamous.
Time to decide
When both sides of the stories are told, now it is time to decide. Regardless the root cause of the cheating, you must decide what works best for you. Can you accept & forgive the fact that he had cheated on you? Would you stay by him knowing that there is a chance that he might do that again? Don’t try to keep the broken relationship just because you had been with him for long time. This is personal and the right decision is not the same for all women. If you decide to end the relationship, end it gracefully.
Giving him another chance
If you decide to give him another chance, do not seek for revenge. Having an affair just to get even with him does not make sense. No one would benefit from that. When you have chosen to accept and forgive, payback is not justified. Everybody makes mistake. Since you have made the decision, you should not invoke this matter during future arguments. Evoking the incident is not going to make things better instead it might cause other issues in your relationship.
The next step is to seek for couples counseling. It is generally performed by a family therapist. Couples counseling is a confidential and non judgmental process that is aimed to help a couple to better understand and manage problems in the relationship.
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